and right now? I’m afraid.

Hey lovely soul,

I’ve been taking massive risks since I was young. 

In Primary 6, I lived in a state eight hours away from what would soon become my dream school. Someone had come to speak at our school. They gave an inspiring talk about a place that sounded almost magical. They handed out pamphlets, painted vivid pictures with their words, and I remember thinking, That’s it. That’s the one. I went home that day and told my mum, “I’m going to go there one day.” 

Years later, my childhood friend and then classmate reminded me I’d told her that exact same thing, right then and there. 

Three years passed. I held that dream in my heart and did everything I could to convince my parents. It would be a huge undertaking for them, but eventually, I made it. I got into that school. 

And that wasn’t the end. When I finished secondary school at 15, I had another dream: to leave the country. I wanted more. I wanted different. It took a year of lost-ness — medical school entrance prep and exams, family disputes, a four-month attempt at an A-level qualification — and a last-minute, or rather, last-hour handwritten application handed to my university’s in-country rep in a random hotel lobby.

I’d never heard of the school before. I was flipping through the daily newspaper, just catching up on the headlines, when I saw the ad. The info session was happening that day. The hotel was a bus ride away. I jumped up, got dressed, told my mom where I was going, and ran to the bus stop.

I arrived at 3 p.m., walked in, said hello, and explained why I was there. They handed me a form and told me I had until 5 p.m. to complete it.

So I sat down, filled out the form, and spent the next two hours writing my personal statement.

Later that year, I was in the UK — with four years of a Law degree ahead of me.

Here’s the thing about being someone who’s constantly leaping — you forget that what once felt impossible is now your comfort zone. You forget that you’re still capable of being afraid. 

And right now? I’m afraid. 

I’m used to doing things people would call bold, even crazy. But those “crazy” things became my norm. And now, I’m being called to do something radical again. I’m being reminded that ‘normal’ and ‘sensible’ have never really applied to me. 

I’ve tried to convince myself to stay a little longer, to be logical, to play it safe. But the call keeps getting louder. My spirit won’t let me sleep on it. My body won’t let me ignore it. So, I’m moving again. 

In the past ten years, I’ve lived in so many cities I’ve lost count. And the one I’m in now? It’s the longest I’ve ever stayed anywhere. But once again, I’m packing up. I’m stepping outside the familiar. 

This transition didn’t come gently. At first, maybe. But once I started resisting, everything — the signs, the energy, the silence — began to push harder. I’m being forced to grow. Not gently. Not romantically. Just necessarily. 

I don’t know what’s ahead. But if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that my gut has never failed me. 

So, this is both a life update and maybe, a message. 

If you’ve been like me lately... if there’s a quiet, steady voice inside you nudging you forward but you’ve been trying to shut it down out of fear, maybe this is your sign to move too. 

As always, it’s been an absolute pleasure. 

Catch you in the next note, 

Pearl ♡ 

^{The Unmasking Comprehensive Workbook: A 150+ page, comprehensive, soul-deep workbook for those ready to stop abandoning themselves for approval — and start choosing themselves, for real. Nine chapters, over 400 tools, including reflection prompts, embodiment and ritual practices, self-dialogue and identity reframes, visual mapping with somatic work, grief, inner child, and anger work, journaling exercises, and affirmations}  

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