glass, spilled. and then... peace

I caught up with a dear friend of mine two days ago, and we laughed, giggled, cried, talking about so many things. Special to my heart was our synchronised acknowledgement of how much we’ve evolved in the way we relate to certain people in our communities. 

We congratulated each other, not so quietly proud. Because when we looked back, we realised just how far we’ve come. 

We’ve gone from strained, painful dynamics to something softer. To something more grounded... Imperfect, yet peaceful. 

We no longer need those people to change. We’ve accepted that we can’t force growth on anyone. Instead, we’ve chosen to protect our peace while still honouring what we know we want from those relationships. 

We hold the distance that keeps us safe, but haven’t shut the door. We’ve arrived at connection, the kind with strong boundaries. That balance made us ecstatic. 

As I pondered what to share with you today, I remembered just how much we often forget—to pause, to notice, to acknowledge the progress we’ve made... the quiet and unassuming ways we’ve healed. 

I’ll share one of my milestone moments with you. A moment that made my heart soar. 

Some time ago, I dropped a glass of water… or maybe it was tea, I can’t remember. 

What happened next was magical to me. I just looked at it and went hmm, and skipped off to get paper towels. 

No panic. 

No freezing. 

No dissociation. 

I simply cleaned it up. Calmly. Quietly. And then it hit me—a wave of laughter, then welcomed tears—because that moment, that reaction, was new. 

Something in me had shifted. My nervous system was healing. Softening. Relaxing. 

That kind of calm used to feel impossible for me. But now, my new baseline stretches farther and farther away from chaos and panic. 

The fretting, the spiralling, the hypervigilance that once ruled my body… it’s dissolving. 

Little by little. 

And that is growth. 

Sometimes, we don’t always recognise the healing that’s happening in real time... the changes that hide in the way we breathe differently, speak more kindly to ourselves, or choose not to repeat an old pattern. 

So today, I hope you pause, reflect, and give yourself credit. 

Maybe you used to lash out, and now you breathe first. 

Maybe you now ask for help. 

Maybe you speak your truth even when your voice and hands shake. 

Maybe you stopped pretending to be okay when you weren’t. 

Maybe you went out alone for the first time. 

That’s not small. 

That’s everything. 

Give yourself a pat on the bum. 

You’re doing great… ahhhhhhhhh. (picture me running, frantically excited) 

Getting yourself together is not easy work. I hope you can be proud of yourself, just as the collective is proud of you. 

As always, it’s been an absolute pleasure. 

Catch you in the next note, 

Pearl ♡ 

^{The Unmasking Comprehensive Workbook: A 150+ page, comprehensive, soul-deep workbook for those ready to stop abandoning themselves for approval — and start choosing themselves, for real. Nine chapters, over 400 tools, including reflection prompts, embodiment and ritual practices, self-dialogue and identity reframes, visual mapping with somatic work, grief, inner child, and anger work, journaling exercises, and affirmations} 

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