you know, I don't know...

Hey lovely soul, 

A few days ago, I had a conversation with my best friend. One of the things we talked about was that awkward, in-between phase of shifting identities — that space where you know where you’ve been no longer fits, but you also can’t fully explain where you’re headed, or what it will look like when people ask. 

And she said something I loved: 

“You know, I’ve gotten to a point where I’m okay with not knowing… and I’m okay telling people I don’t know.” 

We talked about how this can make people uncomfortable. They might consider you confused, lost. And depending on the identity or belief system you’ve left behind, they may even shame you for it. 

So, I thought out loud: 

“I think not knowing is such a powerful place to be. A person who doesn’t know is a person who is open…” 

Open to learning. Open to being taught by life. Open to exploration. And by extension, open to change. 

And with change comes growth. 

That, to me, is the most courageous person in any room, the person who dances with life. The one most likely to leave with enviable wisdom. 

To always know? That is to never question. To never challenge authority, programming, expectations, pressure. To follow whatever maps have been handed to you, regardless of their origin, regardless of how insidious they might be. 

So, if you find yourself lost… if you find yourself unsure… know that this is an unavoidable stage in every morphing process. 

I wonder, is the butterfly even aware that it is being formed when the caterpillar’s body breaks down completely to create it? 

You are actually in the best position right now. Free. Drifting. Floating. And in that moment, you get to flirt with life. You get to ask questions. To explore. To see what fits and what doesn’t. To be impacted and changed, not by fear or restriction, but by immersion. 

So, stay on the course, whatever it may be. Don’t let the discomfort chase you back to the place you already pried yourself out of. 

Listen. 

Listen to the sounds of the earth. 

To your heart beating... racing. 

Watch the clouds. Consider the sun and the moon your compasses. 

Pick a way without worrying if it’s right or wrong… just a way. 

Why? 

Because if you deem it wrong, you can always pick another. That’s the lesson. 

A way is always right...until it’s wrong. 

And then it stays wrong… until you make it right again. 

In essence, your path is yours and yours alone to walk. You get to choose where you want to be, how you want to live, and you get to keep choosing as you go. 

It’s okay. 

Certainty is found in movement anyway. 

So, keep moving. 

One day, you’ll arrive somewhere your heart recognises, a place your soul knows you were heading for all along. And you’ll look back… at all the paths you followed, the dead ends, the discoveries, the struggles, the surprises… 

And you’ll chuckle to yourself. 

The path was always right, even when it was wrong. 

Being lost, unsure, and in the middle can be scary. But there is nothing scarier than never trying… staying glued to a suffocating identity out of fear of the unknown. 

In the world of the lost, everything is possible. The wind, the sun, the moon… all the elements can become a pacifier, a ride, a sign, a path, a friend. 

In the world of the fixed, where everything is known, nothing ever changes. 

What world do you prefer? 

As always, it’s been an absolute pleasure. 

Catch you in the next note, 

Pearl♡ 

^{The Unmasking Comprehensive Workbook: A 150+ page, comprehensive, soul-deep workbook for those ready to stop abandoning themselves for approval and start choosing themselves, for real. Nine chapters, over 400 tools, including reflection prompts, embodiment and ritual practices, self-dialogue and identity reframes, visual mapping with somatic work, grief, inner child, and anger work, journaling exercises, and affirmations.}

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